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This Marvelous Grief

by Besides Daniel

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1.
2.
He gives it up the fight is gone quiet at rest now there is no movement at all inside his chest now He is the seed that grows new men the breath the motion in all of us You have crafted us We all reach for you. But we don't know how to speak your name Help us to love ourselves There is a moment that we find we become what we have always known that we could be look it's a secret revealed on the other side, a language forgotten that we all will remember somehow we run from want and we want to live hiding from beauty inside ourselves but there is a secret inside our chests untouched and burning you have put this here so that we reach for you But we don't know how to speak your name help us to love ourselves.
3.
well Amanda let go around Valentines day she wandered around with some drugs in her veins I picked her when she had no where else she could stay but this worlds such a beautiful place We all hold onto books that we read in our youth we accidentally invent our own versions of truth and I love the way the sunlight is dancing off you and this worlds such a beautiful place I love the record you picked out I love the words that you sang out loud I love the texture of soft sounds loved it when your voice came down and when I opened the window I saw that I was alone and the beautiful day shown 1000 blossoming halos So I wrestle some memories back down to the ground now there room to expand in the absence of sound How can you frown with your friends all around while this worlds such a beautiful place so I let that bird fly in my room for a while cuz she sang me a tune and it gave me smile some songs you can't hear on your radio dial well this worlds such a beautiful place Look the leaves are tuning gold they say one day the world will grow cold but our song is eternal today can't be bought and today can't be sold I dance with my own shadow so content be unknown I rip my heart out on my own 10000 beautiful angles
4.
Can you try to recall the sound the way my whisper sounded then and how you reached for it can you recall the feeling when we danced in step we never said a word how can I tell you now all that I want to say no you never see me But if you were to ask me to, you know I would In a heartbeat Your smile came bright and it woke me up the winter hovered outside the house I want to touch your mouth but I never did it when the house was cold I didn't want to go I cooked dinner and made the bed and then you shook your head and you never said it but if you were to ask me to you know I would In a Heartbeat
5.
1979 06:09
You would make your living on the stilts of yellow pine in the daylight drinking summer 1979 was it summer loving? 2 kids with twinkles in their eyes did you believe in magic? soon you'd hear your babies cry You told us of a light in your room could you feel us breathing inside you cuz we were breathing inside you the 80s rushed you forward with kids to occupy your time on yates avenue dust and dirt whiskey and wine mother had a dream and it changed the course our life would take she was bussing tables counting change that she would make Hold on to those photographs you and your sister laugh smile as your looking back Pink Floyd and Paul McCartney Billy joel and Queen They mix with memories
6.
Grand Canyon 04:03
Just a bit of betrayal but mostly misunderstanding and So the War comes upon us and we both leave empty handed its been a thousand years now since I kissed those lips cuz things tend to break down so we put up our fists Theres a Grand Canyon Inside my chest now How do you say you're sorry with bodies lying on the beach now you trade me in for a feeling and it is hard to believe how I'm just bundle of wounds girl and so I cut you back and all the space that was love has now turned to black We try to pretend we never wanted what we did but we did babe it seems there's more incentive now to leave than we had to stay so all of my love and hate get so mixed up since you went away look homeward angel please teach us how to say that it's okay OKAY Theres a Grand Canyon Inside my chest now Goodbye Companion it's laid to rest now
7.
Penny Queen 04:35
theres a thousand singers in my brain I'm running from a million words all disarrayed and loose ends undone but when I was young I had ambition clean and pure but I don't think that way no more thank God our mothers well she take us in when our monies spent I must have left my rose rims in some circus tent on accident and when I was young I had ambition clean and pure I don't think that way no more were stretched between // a penny and a queen, a future and a dream // yeah you are a lover and a thief I am my pleasure and my grief // and when will it end My apologies I wrote a happy song for you to sing along but when the tune came out it sounded wrong and all the while I was reaching in your purse you were humming to my verse We're partly beasts part Adam and part Eve the grace and pain continues on to weave so gracefully and when we grow young we'll see the treasure in the cost we'll give thanks for what we've lost You see we're walking on a string this tug of war we are in between is it the tension in this thing that makes it sing
8.
Babylon 05:27
she is a dollar bill,  she's cheap but she's dressed to kill  she'll dance with you brother if you have the will.    Her voice on the radio a tune everybody knows she's undercover and wearing no clothes   oh babylon you are a jewel,  always shiny and new Oh babylon you are so cruel still we pursue We're chasing you down   Can you hear the siren song?  I'm tempted to sing along,  to join in the choir like there's nothing wrong   you've got her scent on you, can you smell her on me too?   she is seductive, she knows how to woo   oh babylon you are a jewel,  always shiny and new Oh babylon you are so cruel still we pursue We're chasing you down   she's in every neon light no question of wrong or right Judas will kiss you he don't come to fight…    
9.
Set Sail 04:18
I move from the drivers seat, and the vehicle keeps moving You take over take over for me, why am I not okay with me? I set sail on everything else but the sea conversation into the mountain you insisted that I'm okay, we spoke about how we were raised filled with "should of's" and razor blades I set sail on everything else but the sea we rode with them up to the look out. and we laughed at what we were doing there We are never the people that we think we are you are not the person that you think you are I set sail on everything else but the sea
10.
I paint you in portraits // I pin you in time on black and white footage when you were so shy and the camera was shaking // the photo was blurred the memory altered was it really her and I moved from the city // yeah I darkened my door I ripped out the carpet I slept on the floor and I fenced in the back yard // where my dog had his fun I pulled off the hinges and I made a new one I sold the dress you wore back to the consignment store I forgot what you bought it for but you never loved nothing more You dads steady preaching // and he fights his good fight but he's selling a Jesus that no one will buy and he tells me I'm making // a fool out of me with all of my singing well darlin we'll see that just might be oh but people are shuffling // in and out of our lives yes our life like party // and some people bring boos // some people bring knives And I found all your pictures // with dates on the back they had your inscription with holes from the tacks // they were all tattered and torn I sold the dress you wore back to the consignment store I forgot what you bought it for but you never loved nothing more And the fabric grew paper thin at the knees and the elbows when you just would not talk it off till the chimes from my coo coo clock some wounds just wont heal NO some folk just can't feel
11.
Radio fly out my mouth I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this I want to get raptured somehow but I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this Templeton I've read all your books I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this Carefully remove all these hooks I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this And move out to Denver // till I miss the south Oh cicada rhythm // my name in your mouth I'll climb up a mountain // just to watch the sky burn and I'll let all these tears change // into lessons learned I'll stop hiding monsters up under my bed // babe, I've been so destructive with these words that I've said // so I'll learn a new language and I'll sing a new song // something so happy we forget all thats wrong flowers only grow where it rains I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this Until love only remains I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this Like the color of courage // like falling in love like the smell of your perfume // when a wink was enough like a well written poem // like a talk with your friend or a sermon that melts you // girl HIs love never ends like those memories you cherish // or going back to your town or how the spring always // makes it's way back around like a beautiful story // like a tune that you know oh something so gorgeous // you let all of it show!
12.
You and your sister Taking a picture Nothing is purer nothing is purer South of the city where it gets dirty she lives with her sisters and her brothers too Write in your journal South of the city the flowers unfettered and you are so pretty Where bridges are wooden, and where horses reside where people are purer much purer than I You are my sister tell me a story but I am not ready, I think I'm ready the lakes here are crafted they are crafted by men, the center of georgia the healing begins, the feeling begins again.
13.
turn it over momma, don't you remember the warmth of the fire grandmas blankets you pinned up in all the doorways to keep heat inside back when I was your baby all the things that get stuck in our head, is it the smell of gardenias? that poppa bought you as you laid in your bed Oh it's all the things we remember oh it's all the things we forget it's all of the unanswered questions Hid in the way that you love me it's the color of curtains, it's the smile that I put on your face. it's the songs you would sing to all the ways I invaded your space when your hair was so tangled mom would force you to put in a comb we would pick at each other but you're so elegant now that you're grown Oh it's all the things we remember oh it's all the things we forget it's all of the unanswered questions Hid in the way that you love me it's the drive to kentucky it's the smell of the car we would take it's the scars on your fingers and all the changes you made for our sake Oh it's all the things we remember oh it's all the things we forget it's all of the unanswered questions Hid in the way that you love me
14.
20 Winters 06:04
oh my brother if the sea should rise against you do not fear no not the darkness nor your sorrow take your courage underneath  -------------- oh my brother  since you've been gone, mother's garden, has stopped growing father's age has  started showing since you set out  on the sea ------------ oh my brother hold the memory 20 summers you were with me  Still I'm counting 20 winters have now passed  you're at sea   20 winters  you're at sea --------------   oh my brother do the answers  to our questions hide abroad oh my brother bring them back here bring  the language of our God ------------ oh my brother when you come home all our kin will  celebrate you yet if you will to  go on searching we will tarry  as you're gone

about

This Marvelous Grief is a collection of songs that create a particular landscape of relational brokenness, with ourselves, others, and God. I found this as a thread running through the entirety of this album-a retrospective enlightenment. I have found these songs to orbit the imperfections in our love and the struggle to forgive ourselves, our companions, our family, and God. The title of this record draws from the incredible crucible of loss that comes to us who have wounded those we dearly love and the eventual redemption of our grief. Exploring both the pain of intimacy as well as the hope for loving ourselves, this effort lays bear the turmoil and joys inherent in relationships. My hope for those who take the time to intentionally listen to this record is that your hearts would be warmed with affection for those closest to you.

credits

released March 13, 2013

Artwork - Kristine Ridley www.kristineridley.com

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Besides Daniel Atlanta, Georgia

Danny Brewer ( AKA Besides Daniel ) has found an audience with his unique blend of poetic lyricism, evocative vocals, and cathartic honesty. Think "Lenard Cohen or Iron & Wine meets Ry X " … For fans of The Tallest Man on Earth, Bon Iver, Gregory Alan Isakov, Conor Oberst, Sufjan Stevens, or Ray Lamontagne. ... more

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