This Marvelous Grief

by Besides Daniel

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about

This Marvelous Grief is a collection of songs that create a particular landscape of relational brokenness, with ourselves, others, and God. I found this as a thread running through the entirety of this album-a retrospective enlightenment. I have found these songs to orbit the imperfections in our love and the struggle to forgive ourselves, our companions, our family, and God. The title of this record draws from the incredible crucible of loss that comes to us who have wounded those we dearly love and the eventual redemption of our grief. Exploring both the pain of intimacy as well as the hope for loving ourselves, this effort lays bear the turmoil and joys inherent in relationships. My hope for those who take the time to intentionally listen to this record is that your hearts would be warmed with affection for those closest to you.

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released March 13, 2013

Artwork - Kristine Ridley www.kristineridley.com

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about

Besides Daniel Atlanta, Georgia

Besides Daniel front man Danny Brewer’s poetic lyricism, natural-sounding acoustic riffs, and evocative voice combine to produce truly masterful melodies. Not only are his songs beautifully composed, but they also possess a deep emotion that is rarely seen with such clear precision from a musical artist. In other words, he has the ability to create music straight from the soul, with naked honesty. ... more

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Track Name: Untouched and Burning
He gives it up the fight is gone
quiet at rest now
there is no movement at all
inside his chest now

He is the seed that grows new men
the breath the motion in all of us

You have crafted us
We all reach for you.
But we don't know how to speak your name
Help us to love ourselves

There is a moment that we find we become
what we have always known that we could be
look it's a secret revealed on the other side,
a language forgotten that we all will remember somehow

we run from want and we want to live
hiding from beauty inside ourselves
but there is a secret inside our chests
untouched and burning

you have put this here
so that we reach for you
But we don't know how to speak your name
help us to love ourselves.
Track Name: 10,000 Beautiful Angels
well Amanda let go around Valentines day
she wandered around with some drugs in her veins
I picked her when she had no where else she could stay
but this worlds such a beautiful place

We all hold onto books that we read in our youth
we accidentally invent our own versions of truth
and I love the way the sunlight is dancing off you
and this worlds such a beautiful place

I love the record you picked out
I love the words that you sang out loud
I love the texture of soft sounds
loved it when your voice came down
and when I opened the window
I saw that I was alone
and the beautiful day shown
1000 blossoming halos

So I wrestle some memories back down to the ground
now there room to expand in the absence of sound
How can you frown with your friends all around
while this worlds such a beautiful place

so I let that bird fly in my room for a while
cuz she sang me a tune and it gave me smile
some songs you can't hear on your radio dial
well this worlds such a beautiful place

Look the leaves are tuning gold
they say one day the world will grow cold
but our song is eternal
today can't be bought and today can't be sold
I dance with my own shadow
so content be unknown
I rip my heart out on my own
10000 beautiful angles
Track Name: In A Heartbeat
Can you try to recall the sound
the way my whisper sounded then
and how you reached for it
can you recall the feeling when we danced in step
we never said a word
how can I tell you now
all that I want to say
no you never see me

But if you were to ask me to,
you know I would
In a heartbeat

Your smile came bright and it woke me up
the winter hovered outside the house
I want to touch your mouth
but I never did it
when the house was cold
I didn't want to go
I cooked dinner and made the bed
and then you shook your head
and you never said it

but if you were to ask me to
you know I would
In a Heartbeat
Track Name: 1979
You would make your living
on the stilts of yellow pine
in the daylight drinking
summer 1979

was it summer loving?
2 kids with twinkles in their eyes
did you believe in magic?
soon you'd hear your babies cry

You told us of a light in your room
could you feel us breathing inside you
cuz we were breathing inside you

the 80s rushed you forward
with kids to occupy your time
on yates avenue
dust and dirt whiskey and wine

mother had a dream and
it changed the course our life would take
she was bussing tables
counting change that she would make

Hold on to those photographs
you and your sister laugh
smile as your looking back
Pink Floyd and Paul McCartney
Billy joel and Queen
They mix with memories
Track Name: Grand Canyon
Just a bit of betrayal
but mostly misunderstanding
and So the War comes upon us
and we both leave empty handed
its been a thousand years now
since I kissed those lips
cuz things tend to break down
so we put up our fists

Theres a Grand Canyon
Inside my chest now

How do you say you're sorry
with bodies lying on the beach now
you trade me in for a feeling
and it is hard to believe how
I'm just bundle of wounds girl
and so I cut you back
and all the space that was love
has now turned to black

We try to pretend we never wanted what we did but we did babe
it seems there's more incentive now to leave than we had to stay so
all of my love and hate get so mixed up since you went away
look homeward angel please teach us how to say that it's okay
OKAY


Theres a Grand Canyon
Inside my chest now
Goodbye Companion
it's laid to rest now
Track Name: Penny Queen
theres a thousand singers in my brain I'm running from
a million words all disarrayed and loose ends undone
but when I was young I had ambition clean and pure
but I don't think that way no more

thank God our mothers well she take us in when our monies spent
I must have left my rose rims in some circus tent on accident
and when I was young I had ambition clean and pure
I don't think that way no more

were stretched between // a penny and a queen,
a future and a dream // yeah you are a lover and a thief
I am my pleasure and my grief // and when will it end

My apologies I wrote a happy song for you to sing along
but when the tune came out it sounded wrong
and all the while I was reaching in your purse
you were humming to my verse

We're partly beasts part Adam and part Eve
the grace and pain continues on to weave so gracefully
and when we grow young we'll see the treasure in the cost
we'll give thanks for what we've lost

You see we're walking on a string
this tug of war we are in between
is it the tension in this thing that makes it sing
Track Name: Babylon
she is a dollar bill, 
she's cheap but she's dressed to kill 
she'll dance with you brother if you have the will. 
 
Her voice on the radio
a tune everybody knows
she's undercover and wearing no clothes
 
oh babylon you are a jewel, 
always shiny and new
Oh babylon you are so cruel still we pursue
We're chasing you down
 
Can you hear the siren song? 
I'm tempted to sing along, 
to join in the choir like there's nothing wrong
 
you've got her scent on you,
can you smell her on me too?  
she is seductive, she knows how to woo
 
oh babylon you are a jewel, 
always shiny and new
Oh babylon you are so cruel still we pursue
We're chasing you down
 
she's in every neon light
no question of wrong or right
Judas will kiss you he don't come to fight…
 

 
Track Name: Set Sail
I move from the drivers seat,
and the vehicle keeps moving
You take over take over for me,
why am I not okay with me?

I set sail on everything else but the sea

conversation into the mountain
you insisted that I'm okay,
we spoke about how we were raised
filled with "should of's" and razor blades

I set sail on everything else but the sea

we rode with them up to the look out.
and we laughed at what we were doing there
We are never the people that we think we are
you are not the person that you think you are

I set sail on everything else but the sea
Track Name: Our Life is Like a Party (free)
I paint you in portraits // I pin you in time
on black and white footage when you were so shy
and the camera was shaking // the photo was blurred
the memory altered was it really her
and I moved from the city // yeah I darkened my door
I ripped out the carpet I slept on the floor
and I fenced in the back yard // where my dog had his fun
I pulled off the hinges and I made a new one

I sold the dress you wore back to the consignment store
I forgot what you bought it for but you never loved nothing more

You dads steady preaching // and he fights his good fight
but he's selling a Jesus that no one will buy
and he tells me I'm making // a fool out of me
with all of my singing well darlin we'll see
that just might be
oh but people are shuffling // in and out of our lives
yes our life like party // and some people bring boos // some people bring knives
And I found all your pictures // with dates on the back
they had your inscription with holes from the tacks // they were all tattered and torn

I sold the dress you wore back to the consignment store
I forgot what you bought it for but you never loved nothing more
And the fabric grew paper thin at the knees and the elbows when
you just would not talk it off till the chimes from my coo coo clock

some wounds just wont heal
NO
some folk just can't feel
Track Name: A New Language
Radio fly out my mouth
I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this
I want to get raptured somehow
but I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this

Templeton I've read all your books
I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this
Carefully remove all these hooks
I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this

And move out to Denver // till I miss the south
Oh cicada rhythm // my name in your mouth
I'll climb up a mountain // just to watch the sky burn
and I'll let all these tears change // into lessons learned
I'll stop hiding monsters up under my bed // babe, I've been so destructive
with these words that I've said // so I'll learn a new language
and I'll sing a new song // something so happy we forget all thats wrong

flowers only grow where it rains
I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this
Until love only remains
I gotta get out of this // Yeah I gotta get out of this


Like the color of courage // like falling in love
like the smell of your perfume // when a wink was enough

like a well written poem // like a talk with your friend
or a sermon that melts you // girl HIs love never ends

like those memories you cherish // or going back to your town
or how the spring always // makes it's way back around

like a beautiful story // like a tune that you know
oh something so gorgeous // you let all of it show!
Track Name: The Center of Georgia
You and your sister
Taking a picture
Nothing is purer
nothing is purer

South of the city
where it gets dirty
she lives with her sisters and her brothers too

Write in your journal
South of the city
the flowers unfettered
and you are so pretty

Where bridges are wooden,
and where horses reside
where people are purer much purer than I

You are my sister
tell me a story
but I am not ready,
I think I'm ready

the lakes here are crafted
they are crafted by men,
the center of georgia
the healing begins,
the feeling begins again.
Track Name: Unanswered Questions
turn it over momma,
don't you remember the warmth of the fire
grandmas blankets you pinned up
in all the doorways to keep heat inside

back when I was your baby
all the things that get stuck in our head,
is it the smell of gardenias?
that poppa bought you as you laid in your bed

Oh it's all the things we remember
oh it's all the things we forget
it's all of the unanswered questions
Hid in the way that you love me

it's the color of curtains,
it's the smile that I put on your face.
it's the songs you would sing to
all the ways I invaded your space

when your hair was so tangled
mom would force you to put in a comb
we would pick at each other
but you're so elegant now that you're grown

Oh it's all the things we remember
oh it's all the things we forget
it's all of the unanswered questions
Hid in the way that you love me

it's the drive to kentucky
it's the smell of the car we would take
it's the scars on your fingers
and all the changes you made for our sake

Oh it's all the things we remember
oh it's all the things we forget
it's all of the unanswered questions
Hid in the way that you love me
Track Name: 20 Winters
oh my brother
if the sea should
rise against you
do not fear no
not the darkness
nor your sorrow
take your courage
underneath 
--------------
oh my brother 
since you've been gone,
mother's garden,
has stopped growing
father's age has 
started showing
since you set out 
on the sea
------------
oh my brother
hold the memory
20 summers
you were with me 
Still I'm counting
20 winters
have now passed 
you're at sea
 
20 winters 
you're at sea
--------------
 
oh my brother
do the answers 
to our questions
hide abroad
oh my brother
bring them back here
bring  the language
of our God
------------
oh my brother
when you come home
all our kin will 
celebrate you
yet if you will to 
go on searching
we will tarry 
as you're gone